And in the Red corner !!!

I've gone to write this a few times but ironically what I had written was when I was drunk and I got nervous.

So most people in the last week prob enjoyed Christmas dinner with friends or family followed by a nasty hang over which was backed up by lose friend xmas celebrations before new years. Me? As a flight attendant thankfully got a glimpse of a "normal" xmas day courtesy of my friend Belinda. She's one of those alpha females who organises a function and leaves no detail spare.

I bought the largest selection of cheese possible from good ol Sommerfield and a bottle of vodka (though aware I coulnd't drink with my flight in the evening - and baring in mind I thought I was going to be away much earlier then I was) and I turned up and as expected I gawked around Bel's lunch setting & xmas layout feeling a shell of a female!!! She had turned her apartment into a room so pretty and festive I had never been exposed to something so warm and festive and dare I say felt humbled by the environment.

After a gorgeous lunch which was followed by me dressing in my gorgeous John Rocha (uniform) I showed up to my flight to LAGOS - NIGERIA. A full aircraft... I was one of two rostered crew to turn up, the rest called in sick. Hmmmm on xmas, funny that?? After a year of crew fearing sickness would result in job loss all that had saved the day used it now.. . The people on this flight generally are rude, the smell well, it's like feet and arse combined, the attitude is you are the servent and they are the master the word "no" is not an option !!!! Your patience is tried, your self worth is questioned but you continue and we did. I'd love to say the trip was made brilliant by the crew but it wasn't it was boring and wearing. The pool area was dominated by Emirates, Air France, Us, and others all sitting in seperate corners like wrestlers waiting for their round. I really don't get this rivelry it's weird but any crew will tell you there is always a stand off amongst rival crew.

Anyway tbc..

where's the remote?

I have to admit.. sometimes I feel like I'm watching my life rather then actually living it. I go to amazing places, I meet amazing people and like most people of my generation(I hope) I spend an unhealthy amount of time watching myself on facebook.

Do I think what I am doing is right? No.. but then I don't have a normal life?? I have a full time job as a flight attendant, have a great group of friends but not in one city or country, a "stable" family but then when I really look at what I do and I mean REALLY observe my situation in comparison to someone who is "normal" well then I realise I'm not.

I'm 27, (EEK!!) Female, yet probably pass between 21-24 I'm petite, blonde , with straight hair yet I frequently try to make curly or at least bohemian, I have blue eyes with long lashes but not much volume, high cheeks in a baby fat face, my cup size is an "a" chest I wish was larger (like my cousins who have hd reductions - !!) but that I push up with Victoria's secret bra's and I think I smile too much but I hardly look like a bimbo despite that description. There's def an awkwardness that comes with me but I would be lying if I was to say men didn't find me attractive. I'm never comfortable with this but I accept it - and don't think this makes me in any way out of reach in fact - it doesn't at all.. I don'r understand the attention but more so because despite the attention that comes the times I hope for something real I get summerised in a completely different way that again brings me back to watching my life, myself online and wondering when does it become real.